This quite short story was triggered by me seeing a sign on a door. It was only two words, but it immediately dropped my mind into the gutter, and I came up with this story. Telling you what the sign was will spoil the story, but I’m sure you can work it out once you’ve read it. If not, get in touch and I’ll tell you.
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The fine wine was from far away Strathea, the gourmet food from Uscanis, the tableware was finest crystal and silk. Romantic music played, from where she didn’t know. Delfinio smiled as she sipped her drink and thought she was lucky to be dating a wizard. She watched him as he tucked into the feast he summoned from across the known world, their eyes meeting occasionally. His name was Narsaz and he claimed to be three hundred years old. But he wasn’t some grey-bearded old man with a pointy hat and long robes. No, he was young-looking, handsome and strong, dressed in loose linens, his hair trimmed and tied with a silver band. He had no beard at all, but was cleanly and freshly shaven, just as she liked it.
They talked about many things as they ate and drank until the food was gone and they were sated. Narsaz waved his hand and the remains of the food disappeared, leaving only a clean, white tablecloth and a new bottle of crisp white wine.
“This is all real, isn’t it?” Delfinio asked. “I won’t make up in the morning hungry and dry because it was all an illusion.”
“Of course not, my love. It’s all as genuine as you or I. I merely relocated it from where it was being stored and brought it to your table.”
“You stole it!”
“No, my love.” Narsaz laughed. “I exchanged a fair amount of gold for everything I took. Those merchants will be delighted when they find it.”
“Ahh, you spoil me so.”
“You’re worth it, my love.”
Delfinio grinned. This was the part of the evening she’d most been looking forward to.
“Shall we adjourn to somewhere more comfortable?” She smiled.
“Yes, I’ll bring the wine.”
The two of them stood and made their way across the veranda overlooking the sandy cove and the blue sea beyond. Once inside, they each stood and undressed the other, then fell naked onto the softest bed Delfinio had ever been in. Narsaz kissed her all over, one reason she asked him to shave, and then she took her turn and did the same. Once he was very hard she laid him down and climbed on top, then rode him until she reached a screaming orgasm.
It was fair to say Delfinio was something of a nymphomaniac. One orgasm was never enough and she was soon on all fours and being taken from behind by Narsaz. They shared their climax that time, but only a few minutes later she was ready again. Narsaz did the honours with his tongue and a little bit of magic that made the tip vibrate. Still, she wasn’t satisfied. Now, the best part of dating a wizard, in Delfinio’s opinion, was his ability to keep going longer than other men. He rubbed his hands together until a slight amber glow appeared. Then he stroked his hands along his little wizard, and it sprang to attention once more. Narsaz rode Delfinio front and back, against the wall and over the veranda rail, waving at the passing ships. He floated them in the air and they had rough sex on the ceiling, then a 69 in the middle of the room. Time passed and Narsaz began to get physically and magically exhausted, the amber touch less and less effective. But still, Delfinio wanted more, and Narsaz really wanted to oblige.
“My love, I am tiring, in spirit and flesh. What more can I do?”
“You have done more than enough, you are the best lover I have ever had by a king’s mile. If there’s no more, then I can wait until you are rested.”
Narsaz heard the disappointment in her voice. He suddenly had an idea. “My love, I have my wand, I could slip it into you and give you more pleasure.”
“Yes, that sounds like fun.”
Narsaz summoned his wand and slipped it into her, then moved it around slowly, making it vibrate. She groaned a little but wasn’t getting far. “I need more,” she said, “your wand is too thin.”
“Well, my love, we still have my staff. It never goes soft.”
“Yes! Bring it here and slip it in the back way, that will help.”
Narsaz turned and held out his hand to summon the staff propped against the wall by the fireplace. Nothing happened. He tried again. Still nothing. In his mind, he spoke to the staff. “Come on, get over here.”
“No, why do I always get the back door?” It complained.
“It’s what the young lady wants, and we always help people, don’t we?”
“Why can’t I go in the front? Much nicer in there.”
“You can go in the front next time. Anyway, any hole is a goal, right?”
“Hmm, all right then. Get the butter.”
