This quite short story was triggered by me seeing a sign on a door. It was only two words, but it immediately dropped my mind into the gutter, and I came up with this story. Telling you what the sign was will spoil the story, but I’m sure you can work it out once you’ve read it. If not, get in touch and I’ll tell you.
‘Lady Garden’ is a euphemism and sounds like a a children’s TV programme. Combined with the British passion for double entendre and innuendo, it led to me writing this story. To get the most out of the story, imagine you’re reading it like one of those constantly happy and patronising children’s presenters.
Astronomers have been finding exoplanets out there. Planets may mean life, although this doesn’t necessarily mean intelligent life. The question is not why we haven’t found them yet. It’s more like how they will react when they do turn up. Will they steal our water and make us into burgers, or will they bring immortality and reliable Wi-Fi?